By Jelani Greenidge
February 12, 2010
Loving bravely is risking great personal cost to do good for someone, even when you know that others may ridicule you for doing so. That's the kind of love I want to give this Valentine's Day.
Earlier this year, in Parts 1 and 2 of this series, we looked at urban teenagers' attitudes about sex, and their behaviors and practices that reflect those attitudes. Part 2 ended with a question about how parents and churches can fill the gap in teens' knowledge about sexual health issues and thereby prompt a change in their behavior. We now tackle that tricky subject.
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There's a shortage of enduring love stories in the black community. And if the dismal statistics released by the U.S. Census Bureau, the Barna Group, and others hold steady, the decline of African American marriages will only continue. Currently, African Americans have the lowest marriage rate of any group in the United States (41 percent), and research has found that among those few that do marry, as many as 36 percent end their relationships in divorce. The numbers are bleak, but Christian marriage experts Drs. Clarence and Ja'Ola Walker believe there are steps Christian couples can take to ensure they build strong healthy marriages.
I'd been intending to write some blog posts on marriage, dating, and other issues related to relationships. But in light of recent events I thought I'd share a few personal thoughts about Jon and Kate Gosselin's announcement to proceed with divorce and end their marriage.
I wonder if Roland Martin anticipated the reactions he'd receive regarding his commentary "Man Up and Be a Real Dad"? The piece appeared originally on CNN.com, then later on his syndicated column's website, and his blog at Essence.com. Through the first several paragraphs, the piece seems harmless enough. After all, it's basically a remix of a well-worn social message from pastors, politicians, entertainers, educators, Christian leaders, and others: Black fathers need to step up and take care of their children.
If you are a Christian woman and you are thinking about reading a thoughtful book about male/female relationships, Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment is not the book for you.
For the purposes of this discussion, I'll assume I'm talking to the fellas on this one. (But the ladies are welcome to eavesdrop.)
Have you ever had the urge to hit a woman? Most of us were raised with a mental line in our behavior code. Hitting females is over that line. But truth be told, the notion lurks stealthily beneath the surface. The mental picture that forms in a man's head just before the cowardly deed tends to bubble up in times of stress. When a man feels powerless, he can always fall back on physical force, like a scared dictator with armies at his disposal.
As the recession continues to devastate our economy, one of the few professions benefiting from the downturn is the mental health industry. This sad irony is highlighted by media reports of suicides related to people's financial situations. One Johns Hopkins University sociologist has even calculated that for every 1 percent increase in the unemployment rate, there's an additional 47,000 deaths from suicides, heart attacks, homicides, and alcohol consumption.
Last week a lot of folks were in a frenzy about the number of times--four--that the word "helpmate" was used in Michelle Obama's cover story in the March 9 issue of People. I love when folks create a dustup out of things they don't understand. Some are bristling because they think that calling her a helpmate doesn't give her equal footing. But I'd like to help clear things up and show people that being called a helpmate is nothing bad at all. In fact, it's an honor.
An aging couple. An ordinary moment. And the reality of a lasting marriage. What two civil rights legends taught me about true love and commitment.
Not Easily Broken (Rated PG-13) is the kind of film Christians wait all year to see. It has heart, humor and raw honesty, exploring the struggles real people face in love and faith. And though churches are unlikely to buy out theaters en masse, a la The Passion of the Christ, the faith community will be pleased to see a film openly address the need for God's presence in a marital relationship.
