They're Watching Us

My 13-year-old son's shocking confession forced me to confront my tendency to obscure Jesus behind the "religious" parts of my faith.

Earlier this year, in Parts 1 and 2 of this series, we looked at urban teenagers' attitudes about sex, and their behaviors and practices that reflect those attitudes. Part 2 ended with a question about how parents and churches can fill the gap in teens' knowledge about sexual health issues and thereby prompt a change in their behavior. We now tackle that tricky subject.

The other night as I rode the subway home from a meeting, I took my seat in the middle of a condom rally. Yes, that's right, a condom rally. When I sat down, I was across from two teenagers, a boy and a girl, who were sitting across from two of their friends who were standing in front of the subway-car doors. This set of parallel teenagers each had condoms in their hands and were exchanging them with each other by airborne express. The pair I was sitting across from were remarking on how cool they thought it was that their friends' school handed out condoms in bulk.

"It takes a village to raise a child."

Yeah, we've all heard that repeated ad nauseam since Hillary Clinton dropped the line and attributed it to an old African proverb over a decade ago. Maybe it's just me, but when non-African-descended folks start quoting African proverbs, they start to have as much validity as those old-school Calgon Detergent, "ancient Chinese secret" commercials. Just ain't all that convincing when folks turn ancient wisdom into worn-out clichés and marketing slogans.

Hip-Hop is here to stay. Pastor Efrem Smith not only understands this, he embraces it. And he believes other leaders in his position also must learn to embrace it if the church is going to do its job in urban communities.

In Part 1 of this special series we surveyed disturbing trends among urban teens when it comes to their attitudes about sex, relationships, and teen pregnancy. A 2008 study conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy (NCPTP) spoke to a variety of urban youth workers about the things they're witnessing among the teens they serve. A lack of positive role models, a glorification of teen pregnancy, and a failure on the part of faith institutions to more directly address the issue of sex were among the top problems they observed.

"These are issues that young adults are dealing with but the church isn't talking about," said one youth worker. And that's the point of this series.

"Just talking about sex is a taboo topic for many adults. But young people are talking about it in their discipleship group. The kids are on it. They don't want to stop talking about it."

Those words, from a Christian youth worker who participated in a 2008 study conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy (NCPTP), sum up the precarious spot that many urban parents, churches, and youth organizations find themselves in today when it comes to the topic of sex and the teenagers under their watch.

My discovery of the startling book Conception was one of those events that seemed random but actually proved to be a "God thing." I found it while visiting the library with my sons. I did not even intend to pick up a book for myself, but as I halfheartedly browsed the stacks, there it was. As someone who works to preserve the lives of children, women, and families, I was naturally intrigued by the title. But God knew that more than simple intrigue awaited me inside the covers of this book.

I was standing in line at my neighborhood H&M when Jordin Sparks' song "No Air" started to play. This wasn't my first time hearing the song; it was just the first time I took seriously what she was saying. You see, "No Air," a duet with teen heartthrob Chris Brown, is all about two star-crossed lovers who are afraid of losing each other, for if they do, they will not be able to breathe -- hence the "No Air" refrain.