Hair Apparent

A Special UMI Promotional Feature

There's a shortage of enduring love stories in the black community. And if the dismal statistics released by the U.S. Census Bureau, the Barna Group, and others hold steady, the decline of African American marriages will only continue. Currently, African Americans have the lowest marriage rate of any group in the United States (41 percent), and research has found that among those few that do marry, as many as 36 percent end their relationships in divorce. The numbers are bleak, but Christian marriage experts Drs. Clarence and Ja'Ola Walker believe there are steps Christian couples can take to ensure they build strong healthy marriages.

I wonder if Roland Martin anticipated the reactions he'd receive regarding his commentary "Man Up and Be a Real Dad"? The piece appeared originally on CNN.com, then later on his syndicated column's website, and his blog at Essence.com. Through the first several paragraphs, the piece seems harmless enough. After all, it's basically a remix of a well-worn social message from pastors, politicians, entertainers, educators, Christian leaders, and others: Black fathers need to step up and take care of their children.

If you are a Christian woman and you are thinking about reading a thoughtful book about male/female relationships, Steve Harvey's Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment is not the book for you.

Yesterday I took a phone call from a 19-year-old African American woman who began the call by asking if I knew where she could get the abortion pill. I stopped breathing. I told her no, I didn't know where she could get an abortion pill. I explained that my organization helps women who want to have their children. She didn't respond. I thought maybe I'd offended her. My mind was racing, and I was praying. What should I say next? I didn't want her to hang up; I felt like a crisis negotiator trying to talk down a jumper.

Last week a lot of folks were in a frenzy about the number of times--four--that the word "helpmate" was used in Michelle Obama's cover story in the March 9 issue of People. I love when folks create a dustup out of things they don't understand. Some are bristling because they think that calling her a helpmate doesn't give her equal footing. But I'd like to help clear things up and show people that being called a helpmate is nothing bad at all. In fact, it's an honor.

My discovery of the startling book Conception was one of those events that seemed random but actually proved to be a "God thing." I found it while visiting the library with my sons. I did not even intend to pick up a book for myself, but as I halfheartedly browsed the stacks, there it was. As someone who works to preserve the lives of children, women, and families, I was naturally intrigued by the title. But God knew that more than simple intrigue awaited me inside the covers of this book.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

Although the above words were initially intended to reassure those that had been carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon that they'd be brought back from captivity, they also provide comfort and encouragement in the present day for anyone that worries about what the future holds for them. And, thanks to all of the recent news stories about the state of the economy, not to mention all the reports of shocking acts of violence and natural disasters, many people are probably not only wondering---but worrying---about the future.

I recently traveled to Atlanta to attend the annual Care Net conference. Part of the conference this year was a special summit to address the abortion problem in the Black community. Seven pastors and a couple people active in the Black pro-life cause were present.

When was the last time you actually set aside time to do something nice for yourself? If you're like many mothers, it may have been quite a while. With all the tasks and chores that are typically on the average mom's "to do" list in a given week, it's no wonder that many wind up feeling guilty if they veer from their normal schedule to do something fun or interesting, even if only for a few minutes.